Book Magpie: Best of the Web, Friday 14 June 2013

Ostentiferious: Bring omens or unnatural or supernatural manisfestations.
Category: Reading

Book Magpie sometimes feels sad at its reputation as an omen for bad fortune. We need a crib sheet to point to our more positive qualities like this guide to the 10 most misunderstood words in English. In fact, unlike cuckoos, and Litreactor’s 10 most disturbing sociopaths in literature, we’re actually quite lovable, not to mention as intelligent as chimpanzees. Bet. You. Didn’t. Know. That.

And this intellect is only matched by our romantic streak – something book magpie suffers/benefits from.

Frustratingly, due to you humans' fanaticisim with "hygiene", crow family members are limited to taking their dates to feed on the bins outside restaurants so can't enjoy the surrounds of these 10 literary restaurants for book nerds that Flavourwire found. To make up for it, we magpies hunker-down in winter to form groups to feed and roost *winks*. An act Charles (or Chuck to us) Darwin called “marriage meetings”.

Sadly for Book Magpie, marriage seems a way off at the moment. I've had to enjoy my own company, ever since my fling with Film Magpie ended with a heated argument after they really enjoyed Baz Luhrman's The Great Gatsby.

Book Magpie is broody so it's hard being alone. I daydream about sharing HuffPost's 10 life lessons from kid’s books with a little magpie someday. Maybe at the weekends we could perch on a windowsill (avoiding Film Magpie - awkward) to learn from these surprisingly existential quotes from Disney films. It wouldn't all be morals and philosophy however, we’d let the little fella have some downtime. Indeed Book Magpie Junior could read as many comics as they wanted too – as long as they were in Buzzfeed’s list of 60 comics everyone should read that is.

I'm getting carried away again but I just can't suppress my romantic urges. Even though my heart is broken I still sing with the dawn. Indeed, I hadn’t hitherto thought about it but since my broodiness bubbled up Book Magpie now agrees with Babble’s assertion that these 20 songs would make great books for kids (add your suggestions for songs that'd make great children's books below - Ed).

Perhaps one way I could find a date for this winter's marriage meeting would be to stop spending so much time in the pursuit of shiny things and more time using my extreme intelligence to improve my vocabulary. In fact, these illustrated versions of unusual and rarely spoken words on Design Taxi could help, especially in conjunction with this synonym finder.

But alas, what if Book Magpie is destined to be alone? When studying these 10 most common themes in literature, my story does seem to fall under Capriciousness of Fate. But, enough wallowing. It’s the weekend. I need to dust my beautiful tail feathers off and shake 'em in the hope of finding a second magpie to make some joy, delight, pleasure, positive stimululi - what the!? - with. Note to self: approach synonym generator with caution.

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