Fear

For most of my life I’ve been battling fear
As a child, painfully shy
Never could meet anyone’s eye
Always afraid to speak up
Never let my voice be heard 


As I grew, it stayed with me
In my teens, my twenties too
Fear still there, some fears new
Becoming a woman, a mother, a wife
Navigating my way through life 


Then depression, anxiety, the fear grew
That dark, dense cloud suffocating 
All I could hear, myself, screaming
Inside, outside, around my head
My biggest fear - it would never end 


But slowly, steadily I fought back
Over time my confidence grew
I could look at the world anew
Growing older, I become more bolshie 
The fear of speaking out won’t stop me


So what has changed? 
I can’t tell you, I don’t know
I just don’t want to be afraid any more
Not just a mother, not just a wife 
I am me, this is my life.


personal rebellion, individuality, fear