By Reyah Martin

I’d be fooling myself if rising
from the ashes was easy; if I
was reassured and recomposed
and untouched by your heart; it
was once mine after all.  

I’d be lying if I said that now
you mean nothing and, blameless,
walk away.  I’d be heartless if I
confessed that nothing existed, and
I have gone unhurt in this: I won’t
bleed through and show you what
you’ve done, my pride conceals it,
and I wait to be healed.  

My words would run black if I
proclaimed you a lie; if I turned
our story to the wind and tore it
apart, changing every moment
of yesterday to suit circumstance
and my own craving heart.  

I cannot forgive you without breaking
and if I’m broken I can never be whole;
you give me no sanctuary, no home in the
way you are now, so sure of our wrongs
and unsafe, detached, the person before we
even were.  This is your greatest sin: to leave
armoured, emotionless, and spit on the hand
you once held, finality forcing me away.  

I’d be fooling myself if rising
from the ashes was easy; but you
drowned me in fire, bursting from
the earth, and the only thing I can do
in defiance is reach beyond, until
my heart at last forgets you. 

heartbreak, love, defiance