Oxytocin: How the ‘love hormone' strengthens the bonds between you and your little one

As a parent or caregiver, feeling a sense of connection with your child can be a profound experience. It shapes the way you interact with each other and creates a sense of love and responsibility unlike any other. However, you might not realise that those feelings of love and connection are affected by a hormone called oxytocin.

What is oxytocin?

Oxytocin is a hormone produced in a small structure deep in our brains called the hypothalamus. Oxytocin is released in response to physical touch, emotional connection and shared experiences of intimacy and affection. While it plays a role in a variety of human relationships, from friendships to romantic connections, it is particularly critical in the relationship between a caregiver and their child.

Learning about this natural process can give you an insight into why bonding feels so instinctual and how it impacts your relationship with your little one.

What is bonding?

Bonding is an ongoing process of strengthening the emotional connection between caregivers and children. Feelings of love, trust and security develop through consistent interactions, affectionate gestures and responsive caregiving. Research shows that strong emotional bonds between caregivers and infants are crucial for children’s ongoing emotional, social and cognitive development.

Oxytocin helps parents and children bond from birth

One of the earliest moments when oxytocin becomes important in the parent-child relationship is during childbirth. Oxytocin is essential during labour, but its effects extend beyond the physical act of birth. After a baby is born, both mother and child experience a surge in oxytocin. For the mother, this helps reduce stress and promotes relaxation. For the baby, it fosters a sense of safety and comfort.

Oxytocin supports ongoing bonding

Oxytocin continues to play a vital role as children develop. Anytime you cuddle, hold hands, make eye contact, or engage in other loving interactions together, oxytocin is released in both your brains! Engaging in positive shared experiences, like playing, reading or simply spending quality time together can also have this effect. Even non-physical actions, like tuning in to your child’s interests and actively listening to them, can boost oxytocin levels for both of you.

Research shows that fathers also experience oxytocin boosts when interacting with their children. When fathers engage in affectionate activities like holding, playing with and talking to their child, their oxytocin levels rise, strengthening their bond. This challenges the misconception that bonding is exclusively driven by maternal instincts and indicates that both parents might be biologically inclined to form deep emotional ties with their children.

Positive mental wellbeing

Oxytocin also has a positive effect on mental wellbeing as it acts as a natural stress reliever and mood enhancer. For parents, this can be particularly helpful during stressful moments, and for children, regular bonding interactions have long-lasting benefits. Children who experience secure, loving relationships with their parents tend to develop stronger emotional regulation and greater self-esteem, and form stronger relationships later in life.