Buying my 1st VW beetle on HP couldn’t have been done without my dad’s generosity. He won Spot the Ball and gave me a loan on one condition: I was to take my two siblings on a decent holiday. Give them the adventure of a lifetime.
The chances of ever taking them anywhere seemed far-fetched. I’d no been working long, in reality I’m skint. But dad books us in at Butlins for one night only. I want to take Herbie oot for all the world to see, just not with siblings to embarrass me.
However here we are, the three of us, about to embark on our first taste of freedom. Spud, Dot, me, in my VW Beetle. I call it Herbie, the love bug. Excited yea’ a bit scared – crapping our pants actually! Someone said life’s an adventure but we’d never been out the scheme before. Squeaky bum time for three relatively skint chancers “n” a bug for transport.
Leaving our Borders, passing panoramic views of Criffel and the Solway Firth, to yon picturesque fishing port of Kirkcudbright, the screeching from those two with a tight spot in the back of Herbie was no match for the tranquil scenery we passed on our way to Ayr. Robert Burns was born here, so we visit the museum. We want to reach Butlins Holiday Camp ASAP because they’re bored, tired, hungry, and extremely excited about our destination. One night turned out to be a real blast, I was glad to see Spud and Dot at the top of their game.
Fantastic night’s sleep; a break with lots to do the next day, including visits to the nearby beach, and a variety of entertainment shows from the famous red coats. Although we all had to sit at the same table at mealtimes with strangers. We hadn’t experienced this before, we’re that hungry it didn’t seem to matter. We tore into our grub like we hadn’t seen meat for a week. After breakfast the next day we get back into Herbie and head for a bothy before it gets too dark and find a cow looking in the window. We take a long walk to the nearest village stopping for a fly cuppa, catch the gist of things with some local hill walkers, then head back to prep for a rough night in.
Joining Herbie in the morning we head for Glasgow.
Stress sets in; driving fatigue, motorway boredom. Oh joy. We lose the rag with each other though nowt major as into view comes sky scrapers, crain yer neck the hight o them. Oor pal’s 24 up on a 26 high flat, thankful the lift was working. Of all the places to have Fish ‘n’ chips, “you for real?”.
A shopping spree today, then we head to Loch Lomond get some R’n’R, surrounded by freedom after muckle buildings an here’s a span of cool clean water to appreciate. Here’s quality time for happy families – my arse, there’s been a build-up of fraught feeling since our extravagance in Glasgow. Money and my wee Herbie are becoming worse for wear.
We skirt the 40-mile-long oyster fisheries at Loch Fyne due to differences of opinion that cause Spud ‘n’ Dot to have an almighty row. This is my bloody car, I tell them to get out and settle their differences. I remember vividly neither of them would back down, both wanting to have the last word. Then it started to get a bit personal with the common cause being name calling.
F… this, we’ll head home when you two morons get your act together, I’ve had enough of you both arguing with each other in the back seet. I said “this isn’t a joke” cause the car’s sounding dodgy and money’s seriously low. A frosty atmosphere developed between everybody as tempers fray.
It was awful. However, the penny started to drop. I realised before we left on our adventure that the car had a bit of a serious fault which I hadn’t told any of my close family about. Suddenly I’m freaking out in my head. I always thought I was sensible, the most intelligent of all three. After all, I was the one with a driving licence! For the next 20 miles I felt guilty and decided we needed to get back home because Herbie may have more problems or seriously breakdown. I’ll never know for sure how we did manage to get back without my worst fears becoming a reality. Afterwards, Herbie went straight to the garage.
My siblings were far too excited to question why Herbie wasn’t around of late, I kept a lid on it in case dad wouldn’t let me keep it for what I did. I still had to pay him back and pay for the MOT on the car, even working overtime to keep up appearances. My dad knew what I had done; he wisely left me to figure out for myself how to handle my own problems.
I’m older ‘n’ wiser now I’ve got family of my own. Herbie the love bug caught my beautiful wife’s eye. We still have a VW Beatle in the garage today. I tell my kids about that original holiday in my first VW. Well not all of it, and as soon as they’re old enough I plan to take them on an adventure somewhere. But so much has changed since I was a lad. Conglomerates close most High St stores, land ravaged for new builds. All was far more beautiful in many places before wind turbines spoilt our scenery and climate change ruined our weather. Technology’s taken over quality time with family. Covid did its worst, and we get an economic crisis. The chancer's adventure starts here, hoping things improve as utility bills are now crippling and bank accounts dwindle. Oh, Happy Day!