How to produce happiness

The tightness round my belly
made me want to scream “blue murder”,
howl it to the moon,

and take the band off
my skirt, in the hospital waiting room.

I’d already been rejected
for being 9 sizes too small, so I could do neither,
backed into a wall.

Men and children were each waiting patiently
for their new baby, gathered with me,
like a pregnant pause.

I didn’t want to frighten them, because,
at that time I thought a woman’s labour
was all shy and polite.

Somehow still notions of a stork
coming in the night. Nothing could prepare
me for being taken over by my body.

The endurance, the torture, the mental leaps,
the pushing, the peeing,
the hard work of producing... poo.

I had the real test of a psychologist noo.
My language had deteriorated
as I hugged my tree thigh

I felt a ring of fire, my whole, hole,
stretched to the max (for 45mins)
as my mind went higher.

While my husband chatted gayly
with the two angels,
batting back and forth

Discussing whether I was a rider,
a dancer or just a chancer,
I was just too uptight

to relax and let go,
of my control of the head,
when my husband made me laugh

at how easy it was done
to bring into the world a beautiful one
I very quickly realised the battle was won

as the head then shoulder slipped out
with my breaths came our son
that’s when my craziness, my fun

had really begun

by Jo Beth Gray (living to delight my son)