'Please try not to shout,' said the exasperated nurse, as she attached the heart monitor.
Gran looked confused as she looked around the unfamiliar surroundings of the accident and emergency department. Had she shouted? She couldn't remember.
'Gran's a bit hard of hearing,' I explained, 'and suffering from progressive memory loss and cognitive decline as a result of Alzheimer's disease.
'I'm ravenously starving! I want a sandwich!' Gran shouted.
'The nurse needs to do some tests, Gran,' I said.
'I'm a vegetarian,' Gran declared.
“I'll get you a sandwich when the nurse has finished,' I said.
'I like prawns!'
'Prawns aren't vegetables, Gran.'
Gran had called for an ambulance and had told them that she thought that she was simply sliding away; nothing could have been closer to the truth. She sometimes could sense it, a little bit of herself dissapearing every day, a little bit being slowly erased.
'Don't lose faith or hope,' Gran had said at the very beginning of it all,' and most importantly let's have a laugh!'
'I promise,' I said.
It was a promise that was almost impossible to keep. I knew she was frightened, when she remembered to be frightened.
I was frightened for her. I grieved for her; for the person that was slowly dissolving before my eyes - but I had made a promise.
I concentrated on excercise for Gran, good nutrition, social interaction, cognitive activity and of course jokes.
'Hope springs eternal, Gran,' I had said in an attempt to promote a fresh cause for optimism.
'Hope Springs, is a drag act I once knew, Gran had replied. 'You would have made a good drag act,' she had chortled wickedly.
'Your heart is fine,' said the nurse.
'You've got the jowls of a bulldog,' Gran said to the nurse.
'What!'
'Close your mouth you'll catch flies, and there's enough of them in this place, hospitals are so dirty, not like they used to be years ago, when people scrubbed the floors till you could see your face in them.'
'These days we have machines for that,' said the nurse.
'You look and sound like a machine!'
'For goodness sake Gran!' I said.
'I'm not a machine,' barked the nurse, 'though sometimes I feel like it!'
'Did I say I was vegan?' asked Gran.
'You said you were a vegetarian,' said the nurse dryly.
'Thank you for looking after me, and goodbye Nurse Bulldog Machine!' Gran announced.
'Gran!!!!!' I urged. My cheeks beginning to flush hot pink. 'I do apologise,' I said to the nurse.
As I pulled her wheel chair away from the bay, she furiously tapped at my hand. 'Don't you dare apologise for me. Don't forget we agreed to have a laugh!' Gran whispered, as if it were a state secret, as she threw me a wink. 'Now get me out of here Miss Hope Springs Eternal!'
It was one of her last lucid moments.