Hope has always been a difficult concept for me. In the past, I have found that any hopes I may have had were crushed under the weight of anxieties, insecurities and the fear of failure.
Having hopes and dreams for the future always felt just out of reach, being drowned out by worst-case scenarios. But, as I grew older, as my self-confidence grew and I began to have more faith in other people and the world, my understanding of hope began to evolve.
It became an easier concept; hope began to feel like something I could achieve. I became determined to make all my hopes and dreams become a reality, even if they seemed to be too wild or crazy to be true.
As I have been able to make some of these hopes and dreams become a reality, it has led me to being able to gain a greater understanding of life and all its little intricacies. Life (and what may happen in the future) is no longer a horrific concept but rather a chance to continue to learn, a chance to experiment and try new things and a chance to meet new people, build meaningful relationships and strengthen existing ones. Having hope has allowed me to become more open with my feelings and thoughts with the people I care about the most.
The person I was even a year ago is no longer recognisable to me: someone who was too scared to put any effort into anything, too scared to try, too scared to live. While the fear might still be there, hope has given me the ability to fight the fear and try anyway, no matter what the outcome may be. I have been able to take risks that would have left me paralysed with fear and anxiety in the past.
I have been able to see past my fears and to understand the small beauties in life. Hope has now become a way to enjoy life and a way to plan for the life I want to live.