4 little women, 4 generations, 6 decades of love, pain, hope, poverty and domestic violence.
This story begins like many others, in a housing estate in Glasgow. Drumchapel is a large housing estate on the outskirts of the city. With lots of green space and nature, it could easily be mistaken for a place where hopes and dreams are born. The reality is it is plagued by drug abuse, domestic violence, and poverty. Like every scheme alongside the troubles, it has the most incredible people, a close-knit neighbourhood, and a sense of belonging for all.
Born in 1946, Janice was the first of the 4 little women to arrive in Drumchapel. 2nd oldest to a family of 9, Janice knew first-hand about hardship. Growing up with virtually nothing, she was desperate to break the mould. She dreamed of becoming a midwife, but with a lack of nurture and support at home, and the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings, this dream was crushed. Moving onto further education and pursuing a career in midwifery was not an option for people like Janice.
With her hands in her hands Janice whispered, “what will become of me?”, “what will become of my life?”. She fought so hard until she could fight no more. The next best option to a midwife was to be married and have a house of her own. Married at 18 and with 2 children by the age of 21, Janice was far from the life she dreamed of. But she loved her children, and vowed their lives would be better than her own. She gave her family everything she had to give, but with fear and despair as her companions, what she feared most became reality.
Every girl born into the family followed the fate of Janice. The intergenerational trauma was so deep rooted that while each person prayed for better times, they were driven entirely by fear. Hope was an unknown entity.
There was only one person who could mend the tapestry of this family, but they hadn’t met her yet.
When Janice’s great granddaughter was born October 2005, the little women stood over her and looked at her tiny little face. In that moment the love flowed in and the love flowed out. Together they stood, hands clasped tightly together. ENOUGH!! they said. This stops now: the shame, the hiding in closets, it all stops today. The armour came off, the closet door opened, and for the first time in a long time they could sense hope, freedom and possibility.
They had no idea their granddaughter would mend the tapestry of their lives: their love, their pain, and their future. In that moment they surrendered, they let go of what was, what could be, and re-immersed themselves in love. It wasn’t the love they stood to gain that set them free, it was the love they had to offer. Love is never gone. Despair can take you to dark places, but love will always bring you home.
Janice’s youngest granddaughter held out the baton to her mum and said ‘Mum, I am handing back the baton this pain was never mine to carry.' Janice’s daughter took the baton, held it for a moment, before handing it to her mum and repeated, ‘Mum I am handing you the baton as this pain was never mine to carry.’
With the baton in hand, Janice knew what she had to do; she had to end the curse. Janice got in her car and drove to Luss, a picturesque conservation village which sits on the western shore of Loch Lomond.
Janice stood on the peer and imagined every ounce of pain, trauma, heartache, grief for the life she longed for, the missed opportunities and the failed marriage. She transferred all this pain to the baton.
With all her might, she threw the baton as far into the water as she could. In that moment she set herself free; she released herself from the shackles that weighed her down. Afterward she was overcome with tears, but not of sadness, tears of joy.
From that day the fear was gone. 60 years plus of intergenerational trauma was mended. Life can cause the tapestry of love to unravel and while the stitching may look different, it might just be even better than the original.
Each little woman vowed hope would be their catalyst, dreams would be their companion and if ever they found themselves heading to a place of despair, they would change the vibration and replace fear with hope.
Since then, amazing things started happening in the family.
“You are not the darkness you have endured. You are the light that refused to surrender”
John Mark Green.